Today I had the three hour test for glucose and it just plain sucked.  The disgusting sugary drink tasted even worse this time, as I had to drink over twice as much as I did the first time.  I though for sure that I was going to throw up.  Then, I had to sit there for not three (like I'd thought originally) but FIVE hours.  It really sucked.  The sitting was almost as bad as being stuck with a needle four times.  Today has, in general, sucked.

Everyone seems to want to post on facebook about being pregnant and stuff like that.  I don't really know if I'm going to make a big deal about it like others have or not.  I'm really excited and proud, but I don't want to be one of "those" people.  I thought I might post a picture of me holding up the "I'm going to be a mommy!" shirt I got for Christmas and have a status change that says something like "Pictures speak louder than words...especially profile pictures.

Suggestions, comments anyone?

Dear Lovebug, 

I would really appreciate your cooperation in helping mommy not have to get up every hour and a half to pee.  I know that you are just a little, tiny baby but mommy needs her sleep seeing as she won't be getting any when you get here because you are going to be too amazing.

Love you! 

So I got a call from the doctor today.  My glucose tested a little high so they are wanting to do another test tomorrow.  This one takes three hours.  Yuck.

Anyway, she said something about fasting helping get better readings, and I didn't say anything but I fasted for the last one.  Hopefully, the three hour test will have better readings because I don't want to have to deal with the diabetes aspect of this.  If I have to, though, I'll deal with it.  There is no sense in getting worked up about something that millions of women deal with all the time.

Dear Lovebug,

Mommy is sorry that you will be hungry tomorrow morning.  Please continue to take it easy on mommy's tummy.

Love you.

Wow...really?

I was recently on babycenter.com and I read a journal post from this woman that was freaking out because she and her husband had been trying to get pregnant since *gasp* October (!) and she wasn't pregnant yet.

I mean, really?

Eric and I tried for 17 months. I tend to really not feel sorry for people who freak out after not trying for very long. Maybe I'm mean because of that and I remember being frustrated after like 5 months, but I don't remember being so mad that I posted on a message board for the attention.

It's just not my style.

Note to lovebug: Thank you for the lack of sickness. Mommy loves being able to get up in the morning with a smile on her face and no sicky in her tummy. Please continue, little love bug. Mommy will promise to stay away from eggs since she knows you don't like them. Kisses and hugs.

1st Dr. Visit

Today Eric and I went for a consultation with the doctor.  We talked about different questions about pre-natal care, took down family history and then I had blood work done.

Yay, me!  

Right.

Anyway, everything seems normal so far and we talked about normal weight gain for someone my size and different things like that.  Neither Eric or I have ever had a lot of health problems or even had surgery so everything was a new experience for us.

I'm excited about the holidays because we are going to tell Eric's grandparents about the baby.  We bought them Christmas cards and signed them Love, Eric, Cassie and baby Wineman and then taped a little gummy bear in the card with an arrow pointing toward it that says "this is how big I am".  It's a cute idea and I hope they like it.

Anyway, Happy Holidays to everyone and I hope your Christmas is amazing :)

Love Bug doesn't like eggs...

I have felt pretty lucky thus far, in that I haven't felt an overwhelming urge to vomit.  A few times I've been nauseous but not to the point of hurling my guts.  

That changed on Saturday when I got up.  I already had a headache (I was Oh, SO Happy-seeing as I can't take any thing for it) so when Eric offered to cook breakfast, I told him I'd start with some toast then we'd see.  I got to the kitchen before him and put the bread in the toaster then went to the bathroom.  While I was in there, Eric started cooking eggs.  I re-entered the kitchen where I promptly smelled the stench of eggs cooking (curiously, something that I used to enjoy) and made a mad dash for the bathroom before I hurled the contents of my empty stomach onto the floor.  Thankfully, I made it.

I now understand morning sickness and since that time have experienced it whenever I'm a) hungry b) smelling something ick c) sleeping and hungry.

Thanks LoveBug for letting mommy know you're there.

Love.

Love bug loves Oranges!

Today, I feel much better.  Although I continued to cramp last night, I took a warm bath (I used our thermometer to make sure the water never got above 100 degrees...don't wanna cook the baby) and the bath seemed to help.  I rested and slept pretty well, and so far today, I haven't had any cramps.  Yay!

Last night I dreamed that my baby was talking to me and asking me to eat more oranges (pwease, momma, pwease).  I believe that it is possible it is my subconscious telling me that eating oranges will help keep me from getting the cold that seems to be going around the office (and, incidentally my house).

Well, lovebug, I listened.  I grabbed an orange on the way out of the house this morning, only to get to work to discover unappatizing seeds inside.

Sorry, little bug, but seeds are gross.  I have tried to prevail, but have instead resorted to orange juice.  Only the best for my lovebug.

Tiny little rant...

Okay, tiny little rant.  

I'm registered on babycenter.com and I check the August Birthday Club almost daily because the women on there are due around the same time that I am.  My due date (as of right now) is August 9th so I'm further along than many of the women in there.

Today they were already talking about showing.  Showing?  Really?  At 7 weeks?  Unless they are normally a size 0 that is a little ridiculous, considering the baby is the size of a lentil bean and their uterus is still the size of a fist.  YOU ARE NOT SHOWING PEOPLE!  You're bloated.  Duh!  It's a normal symptom of pregnancy.  Even the moderator broke in and told them that and they ignored her, saying, "I've already had to buy maternity clothes because my jeans don't fit."  If their jeans don't fit now, they were probably too tight before.  Idiots.

I love how some of them have even posted pics, with their backs arched as far as they could get them...and they were obviously straining.  The moderator reminded them that if they are truly showing, their stomaches will be hard.

I know that this is kind of a dumb post but it was really bothering me.  Everyone is excited, but come on!  Use common sense, or at least read the stupid newsletter they email to you everyday!

Called the doctor and she said it was probably just growing pains.  She said to make sure I kept close watch for bright red spotting and to call ASAP if that happens or the pain gets worse.  I'm still a little nervous that there is something wrong, but I'm know the doctor knows best.

So, for now, all is well :)

Presto: Baby book

Also, I was just thinking about how when everything is said and done it might be nice to have a copy of this blog. A hard copy in case anything ever happens.  I was thinking about that and I noticed that at the bottom of the page after I posted my last post there was a link to take me to a page where I can have my blog make into a book and then buy it.

The URL is:  http://blog2print.sharedbook.com/blogworld/printmyblog/index.html

Awesome.  I'm so doing that.

Hmm...

So the last few days I've had slight cramping in my low pelvic region.  It's not constant...just every once in a while...but I have to admit it makes me nervous.  I haven't called the doctor or anything because I don't want to sound like a nutcase but I've decided if I have another cramp, I'm calling.  I had a light spotting issue this weekend, but it was just once and there was really barely anything there- I wouldn't have noticed it if I wasn't so anal.

I've looked online and found that many women say this is normal during the first trimester and that it could be several things.  I don't care what they say, I'm scared.  I find myself praying over and over "Please let this be normal, please let this be normal."

God, please let this be normal.

Nursery Themes

Things are pretty normal.  Besides feeling a little nauseous (not really too bad, yet...nothing to really complain about) I'm all right.  Today is 6 weeks :) 

Eric and I talked about nursery themes this weekend.  My mom is giving me the baby stuff from when I was a baby (curtains, blankets, bumper pads etc) so we are trying to come up with themes that go with them.  

The stuff is white and yellow check and very cute.  For a boy we've decided to do a John Deere theme.  We can add hints of green and little tractors.

However, when it comes to a girl we're having a little trouble coming up with ideas.  We'll use the yellow and white checked stuff but that's all we've got.  One thing that I know is that I do NOT want to do anything Winnie the Pooh related.  It's just not really my thing.

If anyone has any suggestions please suggest!!

Names

We've been talking since WAY before I got pregnant about what we would like to name our kids.  Even though I'm still not far along, we've already decided what we want to name our baby.

Boy: Noah Myles

Girl: Gabriella Alyse

Noah has always been a name that we've both loved.  We've never met a Noah before (no horror stories if you have please) so it's a name that comes without a judgement from us.  Miles was the middle name of one of Eric's school friends and he always thought it was a cool name.  When we were trying to come up with a middle name for Noah nothing sounded right.  Jokingly I suggested Nigel and it must have clicked something in Eric's brain because he kind of yelled, "Myles!"  I liked it.

As far as girl names, Eric and I have always loved the name Gabriella.  When we were considering names, we realized that although we know someone named Gabrielle, she is an amazing friend and I don't think I'd mind my daughter sharing her name.  Of course, we'll shorten it to Gabi.  Eric suggested Alyse and when I looked at the meaning I found that it came from Adelaide, which is what my middle name (Adealia) comes from.  It seemed to fit.

So there it is.  Our ideas on what we want to name our baby.  While we realize that it's possible we might change these names we're both pretty set on them.

Name game

Today has been exhausting.  It seems like I can't get enough sleep.  I've been going to bed as early as I can but it hasn't really helped.  Hopefully, things will get a little better before the baby bump makes it hard to sleep.  

Last night Eric and I played the name game.  Although we've always had an idea of what we would like to name our kids (boy or girl) we have been thinking about other names as well.  I think both of us realize now that the names we pick aren't hypothetical anymore, but will become the identity of someone we both already love.

We have tons more time to think about it but last night we just kinda played around with a few things.  We also talked about child care.  Both of us are nervous, not just because of the cost, but because we want to find someone that is good to our child.  Unfortunately, the area we live in isn't exactly demographically rich.  We've got time but we've decided to begin the search now so that when the time comes we aren't scrambling.

5 Weeks

On December 8th I took a picture of myself at 5 weeks.  No baby bump.  Obviously, it's just belly flab- mostly normal but somewhat bloated- Doc. says that's normal.  But I told my mom that I would take a picture of myself month to month on the same day every month.  It's not the best picture of me.  I hate how I'm standing but it serves its purpose :)

I've also realize that my boobs are huge.  They were huge before they swelled up (a cup size already) but now they are massive.  Crap.

Finding out

Life is good.  Really good.

The past few weeks I've been really tired.  All the time.  I just can't seem to get enough rest, no matter what I do.  It occurred to me on Monday that I'm also late.  When L. and J. started asking me if I was pregnant I realized that it might be a possibility.  

When Eric got home I convinced him to go with me to Walmart to pick up a test.  On the way home, I reminded him that we've been trying for two years and every test I've ever taken was negative, so it was a very real possibility this one might be too.  

"If I come out of the bathroom crying, ignore me," I said. "Just look away and don't make fun of me.  I can't handle that."

He agreed and we went home.  

As I was sitting waiting on the results, I noticed that two lines were coming up instead of my normal one.  I ran out of the bathroom clutching the test, crying.  True to his word, Eric looked away and didn't say anything.  

"No, you don't understand," I wailed and pushed the test at him.

He looked at it and said, "Cass, I can't read this crap....what!"  I guess he figured it out (the instructions are printed right there, after all).

As of Monday, December 7,  I'm 5 weeks pregnant.  

I honestly had gotten to the point where I thought those words would always be an impossibility for me.  Eric and I have tried unsuccessfully for almost two years.  I have realized that it wasn't until I was at peace with the idea that it happened.  

Of course, I called my mom first because I always told her she would be the first person to know when I was having a baby.  At first she was sho

cked.  She was really quiet and almost sounded strained.  I was afraid she was upset when I hung up with her but then she called back like two minutes later and said, "I'm gonna be a Grandma!"  

Yup.

I realize that not everyone can have children.  I have had friends tell me that this isn't true...that all women can have children if they want it badly enough.  Being adopted by someone that can't have kids has taught me that those people probably didn't know what they were talking about.

I am fully aware that the timing isn't the best.  Financially we're struggling because of the pay cut I took when we moved ($1200 a month is a lot).  We are also working on trying to fix a broken relationship.  Although I feel that we have made progress I can only hope that this pregnancy continues to be a miracle to us and that parenthood agrees with us as a team.

My mom told me that I should keep a regular thought journal.  I have therefore decided to create this blog so that for the next 8.5 months this will be my record keeper.

As far as my thoughts go...aside from beginning to feel nauseous, I'm feeling amazing.